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Dancing and performing had been a portion of my life that I’ve never forget. It is not simply because it’s important but it is because it’s something I love. I have been missing dancing lessons lately… Year 12 just puts an end to my passion of dance.

You would think. What about now? You can always dance again. There are lots of things that are currently restricting me from dancing. As much as I would love to start dancing again, I have to think about my Mom’s opinions, money/funds to continue, other events on the way. I guess in a way it’s really frustrating but in another it’s good.

Those Year 11 and 12 dancing lessons I had. Mastering the splits. Karaoke class where I can learn and teach dance almost at the same time. Being able to learn hip hop, jazz, tap and ballet all at the same time with Miss Gatt. Those freaking 30 minutes warm up that made my muscles hurt all over the next day. Complaining about clothes of dance attire every dance lesson. Slowly “forgetting” my imperfection and just DANCE.

I realised that after not dancing for… 3 - 4 months, I am slowly losing my flexibility. I hardly have any time at all to sit down and stretch myself. However, whenever I listen to songs, I would sorta move to the music. It’s weird. Like I still have the passion for this but it’s slowly fading away. So sad…

I WANNA DANCE AGAIN!

But where? When? How?

I want real dancing… REAL dancing.

You see, I have been really lazy with picture posting recently cause I have to upload the pictures in a different to Blogspot which feels really weird to me. Hence, I have stopped picture blogging for a while. But don’t you worry, picture blogging is back! Wahahaha. This time though, because I have missed out on so much pictures, I shall sorta pick out selected one and explain why I took it

This picture is taken roughly around 2 - 3 weeks ago when us bunch of peoples went and have Dim Sum in the city. This is taken in Utopia: Dee, Me, Hui, Shan

Saw this bag in this ‘asian-ish’ shop in the city with shopping with Hui and Shan. I find it uber cute cause of the over-sized zip. Haha, pretty funky huh?

Haha, it’s funny how I found this picture. This is actually a picture from a t-shirt I found in Ken’s little collection of clothes. Hehe, it’s so cute He’s so cute *HUGS*

Remember that post about how clouds stick together? From then on, I have been secretly observing the clouds and one day, this is what I saw…

THEY DON’T STICK TOGETHER ANYMORE

Haha, near my workplace, there is this pet shop where I pass by everytime. So once, I decided to go have a look at the animals. And I saw this cat sleeping…

One fine day… me, Ken, Hui, Shan and Nat took an express train from Perth to Thornlie. Yup yup! And we were the only passengers on the train. So… Hui and Shan ran to lay down to the seats of the train.

This picture is taken a few days back. Me, Ken, Nat and Dee hung out at the beach on the evening while having dinner Yup, you see the little hair sticking out at the side? That’s Ken xD

The sunset at the beach is so nice

This picture is taken yesterday morning. I found Leo curlled up in a corner. Haha. So adorable.

Today after work, I was walking around the shopping centre and I found this really cute necklace in Diva’s. With Valentine’s Day around the corner, this necklace is like so cute? xD Yeh, it’s not my style so I thought I would just take a picture of it as a memory

Hehe, I have no more random pictures for you… but hey, I would never stop taking random pictures cause now I have my phone with me 24/7. I can’t miss a shot of something cute, weird or funny right?

Life is so two-sided. Sometimes, you see one of the world where you absolutely hate. Other times, you see all these beautiful things that you wished would be there forever. Nothing is forever. That’s why you always see the two sides. But soon, it will go away. Have a little faith. Sad times, does fade away. Good times though, will stay in your memories and will never be forgotten.

***

Edit @ 10.15pm

Last but not least, here is something for my very very very special Hunnybear

I CHOCOLATE HEART U!

I don’t know… feels like it’s been a long day today.

Today was a mixture of everything - frustration, peacefulness, hot, depression, crying, smiling, unstable, stable, doubt, fear, argument, promise. Everything goes by so fast that I can’t even keep up. One minute, I’m laughing. One minute, I’m crying. I just hope that I won’t ever have that feeling again. That feeling that my tears are coming out. That feeling that I was hated, not loved and I was being ignored, not pampered.

It’s going through a PMS state. The whole thing. Just ups and downs. Every time when this happens, my heart will ache. I don’t like seeing everything like that. It hurts both. I just wanted to make things the way I want it to be. I don’t want anything between us. I don’t want to argue because of someone else. That’s the last thing that I hope will happen. So far, there’s two. But no more. Not even the previous two. I’ll make sure I do my part and keep away from things like that. I never want this to happen again. I don’t want to be sad like today again. I don’t want to cry like today again.

I want to be happy like how I am when I’m with you. Everything is simple. Everything is just clear. Nothing else will come between us. Right?

HUGS* Let it stay this way. Hope you’re not unhappy with me chucking a sad today. Don’t let this happen again. Esp not the same thing.

Things are coming back to normal now. It is just so much like a turning point. Like when you suddenly feel like everything is turning hopeless, it turned back to normal. I’m so glad.

Anyway, today is just another lazy Sunday morning. I slept till 11.30am. Such a good night sleep after so many nights. Right now, I’m indoors and enjoying the coolness of air condition and peacefulness. It is going to 1 now and I’m feeling like I’m wasting half of my day already. For the last few weekends, it seems like I have not done much on at least 1 day. I guess I’m back to my less busy and lazy self now. Haha, I’m loving it. But then again, I’m quite bored right now and wished there was something interesting I could do…

Oh well, at least everything is back in place and this feeling is so damn good!

@ Hui - GAH! Can’t believe you’re leaving today! I’m gonna miss you. Enjoy chinese new year in Malaysia and I’ll see you when you come back alright? Take good care of yourself over there and have lotsa fun! Don’t forget presents for me. Hahaha!

@ Shan - Thanks daughter for yesterday. Man, I was so depressed but it’s all good now. Thanks for always being there. I love u!!

@ Ken - Hey Hunnybear, I’m so glad you’re alright now. Hugs* Thanks for being understanding while I’m so grumpy. I know it has been hard for you as well. Anyway, hope to see you soon

@ Nat - Thanks for the special message. Hehe. Hope to see you soon too!

@ Dee - Thanks for trying to cheer me up yesterday. All good… hehe see you soon… three?

I have nothing to say. I was going to stop here and wait for words to be typed. I don’t know how this blog entry will turn out to be like.

Today, I walked Hui to the bus stop. When I was walking back, I find that the route I’m taking is too long so I walked the other way. It was a weird feeling walking through there. I was sure there is some sort of way out cause I saw mom turned there once. I decided to take my risk. It took me really long and I haven’t reached the end. I didn’t get scared though. I kept on walking and was so sure that Forest Lakes Drive is just up the end of the road. At one point, I actually hesitated if I should make a turn to the small pathway and find my way home from there. But I looked at the road ahead and decided to keep on walking. Why give up now? When I’m already halfway through and I am so sure the road home is there? After walking for a while, I finally reached the end. Then I realised that I still have to walk a distance back to my house. That feeling didn’t sux though. Cause I know I’m finally reaching there… and there it is right in front of me.

I don’t know what’s that gotta to do with what I am feeling now but somehow it linked to what I want to do next. I don’t really know what’s next. But it’s just there. Like I’m sure there is some way out there. But it’s just time.

To say the truth, after thinking so much, it seems that it’s my problem this time round. I haven’t handled everything as well as I think I did. Reason behind it was I guess there was too much mixed feelings I put into the whole situation. I don’t even know what I did that was wrong and made myself so… angry. It’s just everything. Should I give you some space, or spend more time with you? I don’t even know what to do. I don’t even know how you feel. I guess we were all lost. I guess it is the lack of communication ever since I started working.

Speaking of work, I feel even more worse. Ever since I started working, I had no time whatsoever to even care about you. Maybe you start to think that I don’t, but I do. All the time. There was just times where I couldn’t and is helpless of everything. But I’m always thinking about you, missing you. It doesn’t really matter what I am doing. Whether I’m working, with my friends, with my family, I’m always missing you. Believe it or not, there was hardly any time that I am not missing you.

I don’t even know why I’m saying all this. I’m so lost. I don’t know what to do. But I’m just still so sure that I love you. It’s not even the liking from the beginning anymore. It’s the stronger type of love.

From the like of friends to like of couple then until now. It’s been long… like this morning, I don’t want to turn back and start all over again. I just want to keep going. Maybe it would just take me longer to get there. But I just want to get there…