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Now I finally understand… My mind is clear. And so is my heart. I want to stay this way. I have decided to say the truth to him. It’s better to hurt him now then hurt him later… why so many bad luck in love for me? I dunno. But I’ve learnt from it. From all my past experiences.
Now I really understand what’s call love. Now I know what I want, and what I expect my guy to be. When I’m in a relationship, I want to feel very sercured and loved. But not danger and uncomfortable. I don’t want any pressure. Anything to consider. I just want to love. Pure love. A guy who can understand me and respect me will only be the type of guy I want to be with.
I’m still sick. And I’m recovering. Issit a good sign? I hope so. Today, I went to this person’s house. And I’ve learnt a lot of things… we were like in a class. Learning how to be a better person. And I remember the person ask me, if the world is cruel. I thought for a while. And my answer is yes. Then she asked me why. I said everyone experiences this cruelity and only that it will make people grow more matured and move on. Have you grown more matured? Well, I thought about it so much. About this. And she was talking about her own experiences. And somehow I just started crying. 2 things in my mind. That made me cry. My experiences. And I realised. I have to cherish, to get the next chance. Lighten your burden and carry on without worrying too much. Only in that way, you can be clear of what you really want.
I have learnt something. And that’s why I really really understand why I was feeling this way. And so, I’ve decided to tell the truth. It doesn’t matter what happens in the future. Becuz I can’t look that far. What is important is I can put down all my worries now. And for once, have a good slp. And… just be someone I want to be. Not worrying about anything else.
Your life is in our own hands. It’s your choice if you want to cherish it or not. If you never start finding, you will never find it. Every problems or conflicts you face, it a gift from heaven. It’s a challenge from heaven. If you pass the test, you will gain something precious. Sometimes, we should try not to whine for what God has given us, but just accept the way it is. In this way, you’ll find yourself more confident.
Be the brightest… it’s your choice….