111607438844333799
Hello… everyone… talking on the phone with my cousin… as the same time writing in blog. and at the same time listening to lost without you. cuz suddenly remembered about this song… cuz read his blog. Dunno what to say actually. Listening to this song thinking back… about this times we had together when we just started chatting… sharing some problems… talking about absolutely everything. It’s pretty enjoyable. Ok, just got off the phone. Anyways… this song really has its significance now. I’m lost without you. If I could only hold you now, make the pain just go away, can’t stop the tears from rolling down my face…
Can’t seemed to let go still, thinking about him all the time. Trying not to think, cuz he said we’ll end up this way sooner or later anyway. I really dont want to have this ending. It hurts so much… thinking of ways that he will be apart from me…. sometimes I just cant think anymore. I was never like before now. Maybe a bit more impatient with ppl. Sometimes patient so I wouldn’t push ppl too much. But I just want to be like me, just before… never felt this way before. People say long distance relationships never work out and I had never believed it but now I really do. And I really wished I could be there… by your side once again and accompany you through the tough times you are having… giving you my concerns and care… just want to be your perfect gf… even thought I might not be one…
anyway… I should stop on this topic. Times like these is making me despessing. But luckily, all my friends around me are always trying to make me laugh and smile. I still kept the ring… with me every single day. At one stage, I was deeply in thoughts as I looked as the craving of our names… thinking if we would ever have a chance to be together again and nothing will be in our way… Our photos are still kept in my wallet. Cuz I couldnt bear to take them out and show my bravery to forget him… not ever. Cuz I’m not as brave as you think… Just a weak little girl who can’t help missing him still…
Today. I have been keeping myself quiet. Cuz I was reading a book. I finished about 3/4 of it by one day. From morning to evening. Amazing huh… it was pretty interesting. Really.. cant think of any other things to do. I’ve got a Physics test on Monday and a Drama performance on Tuesday and I can’t be bothered studying or rehearsing my lines… once again. I feel so lazy… So relaxed. But many things is going through my head. And for all these, I’ve got a new intention of writing a new song. Putting all my emotions in it. Like before. All my songs were of us… being together. But this one would be of us being apart. I dunno what exactly stopped me from entering that sinigng competition. Issit becuz of schoolwork really? Or issit juz plainly I’m nto confident with my voice. I dun sing too often now… Just mumbering in my head. Songs. Sad songs. But it doesnt make me cry anymore. Cuz it’s numbing me… all my feelings. I already had enough tears the day I left. I wished I hasn’t.
How much I wanted to cherish… no matter how muched I cherished… it will still have the same ending. Will it?