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No. Yes. No. Yes. Arhh, what am I talking about? Hehes. Been really really really really bored. I think I’m gonna burst. Lols. Keke, before I burst, I shall write a blog entry. But my point is ;; TODAY IS SO FREAKING BORING ;; Yes. It is. No. It was. It has always been. Ok, before I really go insane, or psycho. Arhh… what am I talking about.

Been working hard on being independent. Cuz I’m NOT. My mom said I’m very lazy. My dad says, the same thing? Yer, but the point is ;; I AM lazy ;; Fine…… I am okay… But for this few days, I’ve been working on it okay… In the morning, I made breakfast. Yesterday and today, only 3 of us are all alone at home.

I did a bit of housework… asking my mom about work and stuff… taking care of my two sisters. Things that I’ve almost never done before, as in I needed to be told to do them. But, my sister is more hardworking than me… as in doing housework and stuff. I’m more hardworking in schoolwork than her. BUT, I haven’t started on my creative writing yet. Arhh, should be ashamed of myself. Lols.

School starting soon, then time would be flying by so much. Mother’s day is coming… havent buy present yet. My Dad’s birthdya is next month. May… makes me think of someone that I wanted to care about, but scared to are about. Someone that I wouldn’t be able to see often. Maybe I’m too scared to face that person, but maybe that is all I have thought about. But that day would be another day that I hvae to feel happy about. Know that I shouldn’t think of the past anymore… just looking on what’s life ahead. Been to fearful of looking ahead of me. Too fearful that things will get worse. Hope that there’s something for me to look forward to.

= listening = Wang Li Hom - Forever Love =
= feeling = ditzy =
= missing = you… =
= wanna = what can I say? =
= learnt = - =

I heard Leo growling last night. It was quite scary… and I was trying to sleep. I didn’t tell him to keep quiet or anything, but where he is sleeping is just beside my room. After a while, I heard him whining. Dunno what’s wrong with him. Then a while later, I didn’t heard anything esle… probably because I’m already asleep. Lol. But my sister told me that she heard him howling last night. Lol. scary… I wouldn’t want to hear that. I sleep alone! So I don’t want to feel scared or anything.

This morning, I woke up… stretching myself… very uncomfortable, all stiff and stuff. After stretching a while, I got up. My Dad was home, my Mom went to work already. My Dad starts work tomorrow. Has to wake up at like 5 ++am, poor thing… There was only me, my sisters, my Dad and my cousin at home. Everyone has awaken already, except for me. Then I made breakfast for me and my sisters. Chatting with my sisters while eating breakfast… then went and watch Tv. After a bout 2pm, made lunch for me and my sisters. That’s my duty, cuz my Dad and cousin are old enough to take care of themselves. After that, Mom came home. She asked me to go and take in the dry clothes from outside, so I did. Soon after, we ate dinner together. After eating dinner, I went and bathe. Then just slack around, come online.

That’s all about my day bah. Nothing much to expect. Cuz I have already got used to it. Got used to the fact that there’s a long life for me to go… nothing I can do. I was thinking… maybe I could do something exciting in my life, but what? Really want to do something that I like. Like writing songs, singing or dancing. Just something that keeps me happy for a long time. Hmm, but if there was something like that that could happen on me, then I might just be in a dream. Hope that, one day I can do something I like.

+ listening + S.H.E - Ta Hao Shi Bu Dong +
+ feeling + Confused +
+ missing + you, always missing you… +
+ wanna + find my dreams… +
+ learnt + …. +

Today ia a b o r i n g day!! Everyday is a boring day…

What can I say? Got awaken in the morning by my mom’s voice. She was getting ready to go to work, while I was still sleeping. She left after a while, then I went back to sleep. But I wasn’t actually alseep. I was half asleep, half awake. I woke up at about 9++ but didn’t bother to get up. As usual, I stayed in bed… thinking. I always do that when I can sleep in the morning. Then finally woke up at 10 something…

Watched rage until it finishes, thinking about some ideas for the dance. But didn’t think of any dance steps at all. I’m dying for some inspiration of new steps. Then watched Tv while eating breakfast. No one esle was there… so lonely, eating breakfast alone. My 2 sisters are still sleeping… my cousin in his room, not sure what he was doing. Then after that, my sister’s woke up. Made breakfast and ate them. We were then watching Tv together… until like… almost our parents come home. Lols, watched Tv for like 5 hours… watching that show “supergirl”, finding a singing soul. Watching so many girls, looking for their dreams. Hmm, thinking. I’m not sure if I would have the courage to even stand there and start singing to 3 strangers… Lols. It would be weird.

When Mom came home, talk to her a while… then continue watching Tv. Then suddenly, my sister shout, “rainbow!” Then we all looked out of the glass door facing our backyard. Yup! I saw the rainbow. It was nice.
That’s about my day… okie, juz to stop here, I’ll leave those of you who are reading my blog a question.

{ If you have 1 wish that you can be granted, what would it be? }
Well, you cna tag in my tagboard and share your answers.

Take care all!

; listening ‘ Jolin Tsai - ze mo lian hua duo shou bu qing chu ;;
; feeling ‘ in a singing mood ;;
; missing ‘ mah pillow.. ;;
; wanna ‘ u to tell me u’ll alwayz be there for me.. ;;
; learnt ‘ never judge a book by its cover ;;

Uh oh… 1 more week then holidays are over! Haven’t done my English creative writing yet. In fact, I haven’t even started…! Uh oh… I dunno how to start it… hmm, should I write it on The Great Depression, Hiroshima or WWII ? Aww, I dunno… Guess what? Kenneth just asked me if I had put on weight. -_-”" Lols. FINE. Lols. He ask me not to be angry… issit an excuse to start off a conversation or just plain critism? Ohhh… I know already. Haha… asking me for advise. Haha! I have no idea since when, but a lot of ppl like to ask me for advise. Hmm… I think I should an adviser huh. Haha. But sometimes, hearing so many stories make me feel sad. Cuz hearing so many things that actually happen, just shows me the plain world and what it can truly do. But as an adviser, or a friend, no matter what happens in other ppl’s lives, I have always remember that all I give is advises and help. In general, I can’t actually influence their mind to do something, and I can’t tell them what to do. I can only advise them and give them options to think about. In the end, they would still have to choose their own way of solving their problems. Yup, that’s me. So basically, all my words is said as if not said. Haha… I think?!

Hey… I remembered something really funny… Well, Abi actually made up her own way of saying “Oh! Crap!” And do you know what is it? It’s really funny. But it would only be effectively laughable when you actually hear her say it. She says “Holy smoke!” LOL! I couldnt stop laughing whenever she says that… Manx, she really makes our group laugh. The way she’s so ditzy, yet clever. You should see her Maths. Geez, smart!! Well, anyway, she told me that her brother told her that “smoke” can never be “holy”. Lols. I couldn’t stop laughing at that too. Therefore, this is my version of “Oh! Crap!”, that is “Holy water!” Lols. Well, “water” can be “holy” right? Haha. Leanny laughed at my way too. Sometimes I find it funny when Abi says her word. I never say it, but still reminds me of my own version.

… some person just wrote me a msg in msn saying ;
yu_girlgal@hotmail.com says:
its you!
yu_girlgal@hotmail.com says:
http://coolkid1.sytes.net/pictures.php?email=irenelee89@hotmail.com

Well, don’t open this! I dunno if there’s any virus or not. I’m not going to open it. Even though I have some curiosity to know what’s in it.

There’s something wrong with me today… I dunno. But cuz today, my parents were cleaning up the house. And I was like lying in bed. It was afternoon. I was feeling lazy. Bu for some reason, I have been really… I dunno how to describe. But it was weird. I think I need to see a pyschologist… My mood swings has been horrible… Argh… someone save me!!

Something wrong with me… someone save me pls….

Aiyo… my brain is gonna burst manx!! Lols. My parents asking me so many questions… problem about buying phone… and the optus simcard. -_-” Oh well. My day isn’t interesting at all today. Feeling lazy and tired. Sneezing so much.

Last night, I couldn’t get to sleep. It’s was so terrible. I kept thinking about things… things in my mind… flashing up the memories. I dunno why I’m always thinking… about the past. And wondering about so many things. Scaring myself… I guess that I’m a person who really misses the past me. Do I? Not sure. Manx… so confused. Holidays are driving me crazy. Everyday is so BORING! Argh… nothing to do.. manx. But school is worse. Homework, assignments… Geez, living in reality is so… stress! Always thinking how to be a btter person, always trying to do somehting that makes life better, but… never really think about what is the aim in life.

Recently, I’m feeling really stressed out. Esp at start of this year. Firstly was so many things that I was unable to put down and let go of. That leads me to depression. Real big depression. Secondly is the start of school, having to be quickly in studying and more concentrated. That really freaks me out. It stressed me out even more. And I was having mood swings all the time. I was sometimes either extremely sad, or extremely happy. Things really changed alot for me, and something has been pushing me to get used to it.

This morning, I had a reluctance to get out of bed, cuz it was so comfortable for me. I enjoying being lazy this morning. But something esle kept in my mind. I thought it would be better for me to stay more in lala land, than in reality. Sometimes, I just have a strong feeling not to face anything. Last week of school gave me that feeling, too. Stress heavy work. Tests, reminders of exams. A sudden spot test, pops up. It can juz give u a big shock sometimes. And the stupid blue shirters in my school. They are noisy, annoying, naughty, out of control, immature and pervertic! Ok, shall not talk about the pervertic part, but they have all been splashing water everywhere with that stupid water bottle the canteen is selling. I really dun find those bottle fascinating at all. They have been running around like headless chickens, screaming their heads off. I find those girls even more annoying. I wouldn’t actually go and splash water at anyone, esp guys to get attention, and when they are all wet, they would hug the guy. What kind of attitude is this? So I have to say that, most of the blue shirter (I only said most, not all) in our school are attention seekers.

Oh fine, shouldn’t get too angered at all these things. Really tired of all this crap I get from the blue shirt I guess. I even told some of them off.. I really dont see the point in this, but at least I get some of my anger out. Ok, anger section ends here.

Soo… what was I talking about before? Hmm, forget it. Oh, I got my broadband today. It’s relaly handy. Fast. Ok, I’ll stop here. Dunno what to write anymore.

Take care everyone!! Weather’s changing violently, so take good care of your health. Dont get sick, like me. )=