Today is another day… *sigh* been like this all day. No energy.. Manx.. kept thinking of him. Dunno how to say. Listening to “From the bottom of my broken heart by Britney Spears” Felt so sad.
I had a pretty crap day today bahx. But my friends cheered me up, even though I kept realieasing that I’m missing him so much… until… got tears in my eyes… I dunno who is going to read my blog anymore.
First period, I had Physics. Then I told Emma. She stopped and looked at me.. and says “WHAT?!?!?!” And she kept asking me if I was okay… gave me a big hug and ask me not to be sad anymore. After that I had Chemistry… taking notes. 3 pages of notes. About the electrons configuration thingy, which I really don’t get it. I was exchanging this what-the-hell look with Yuri everytime we got this question stuck in our head.
After that had recess. Bought something to eat… then sat there, staring at the bushes. I was like…. dunno crazy? Daydreaming? Then after that…. I had Intro Calc. Did work… work… work. So many work. So confusing. Then have drama. Went to the green room, which isnt green?? Lols. Really! But there was mirror there, for dancing. Look so high class. Lols. Then teacher was tlaking about Midsummer’s night dream. We are doing a play on it soon!! Excited. Monday we have full day incursion for drama. Yays! No intro calc… hahhahaha..
Went for lunch after that… boring. I sat there at my usual spot. Sunbaking. Lols! It was… a bit cold. Then trisha asked me if I was okay, cuz she saw me daydreaming. Then.. bell rang… went for… English. Watched “Seachange”. The lady inside is so unlucky… lols. dun go into details… then… erms go for dance class. My fave subj. Learnt new dance steps. Nice. But I haven’t mastered it yet. Teacher say we have period 0 during thursday from now on.. Get to go home early on Friday… haha! Nice nice.
After that… after dance class, waiting for bell to ring to go… I msged him, at lunch… then he juz replied me. Was crying facing my bakc to the gym door. The wind blowing in my face. Sad… trying to control. Then bell rang which broke my daydreaming… then I juz walked off wiping away my tears. Then went home, quickly shower then go tution. Quickly go buy a burger and ate before going to tution.
Thats all for my day… hmm, thanks for some of the girls in my group who is cheering me up ysd and today. Thanks!! I love you guys.
- listening - Jolin Tsai - jiu shi ai -
- feeling - mixed feelings -
- missing - him… -
- wanna - dunno lar. dun ask me. finish all my hwk lar. -
- learnt - wad can i learn? juz all these facts and facts and facts lar. -
Dun wan to hide myself inside… some things i wanted to say.
negative ;;
` I hate the word sorry. If you are sorry, you wouldn’t do something. But if you did something, don’t feel sorry. Don’t sorry me.
` Don’t understand.
` Crying and stop, crying and stop. I’m going crazy. No I am already crazy.
` It really hurt. ALOT.
` I’m regreting already… why did I agree to let go…
` I’m not a perfect person. I’m not a perfect gf. I’m just not.
positive ;;
` I don’t hate you. In fact, I still luv you, and miss you alot.
` I know you have your reason.
` It’s hard.
Wondering ;;
` Drama series ends with happy ending. But in my life, it doesn’t.
` Why long distance relationship sux so much.
` Why long distance relationship never work out.
` Why I’m so bad luck in luv. Failure. Pathetic.
` Why you always think about my feelings, and not your own…?
Thank you ;;
` For luving me
` For teaching me what true love is.
` For always thinking about my feelings.
` For putting up with all my crap.
` For teaching me what is faith.
I never knew how much I luv u… until ysd. But now, there’s no turning back. Had a harsh to throw everything away. I did cry this morning. By afternoon, I was already broken down. Sorry I still can’t accept this… even though how much you wanted me to.
Time to update ^__^
My computer got virus again. Awww!! Hate virus. And it’s those spyware thingy… scary manx. I did a virus on my computer just now. Got one infected one. But dunno deleted already or not. Aww… I hope it goes away soon! I suspect that it comes from iwebmusic.com so I advise that you all dont go into that web… Stupid computer… Lolx
School reopening soon. Haven’t plan when to start my brain working yet. Probably have to be tomorrow bah. Cuz tomorrow is Sunday. Awww… Monday is public holiday. No school. Tomorrow hve to finish my creative writing already. Then revise on Chemistry and Physics. Then Monday revise on Chemistry, Physics and Intro Calc. Haha. Why Intro Calc so little? ell, who cares about freaking Intro Calc. I don’t. Lols. Don’t blame me… I just hate this subject now.
I had a terrible nightmare last night. I dreamt that someone got shot. Can’t say who. =X But then I was crying like crazy. I hate to have nightmares. It’s so emotional. Arhh, only in my dreams. Haha. Dreams are so illusional. I really hate it. But then, sometimes dreams are so nice and comfortable. Arhhh… guess it’s sorta good and bad at the same time huh. I find myself have too much sleeping time lately… I couldn’t even sleep at night. If that carries on, then when school reopens, I will be dead. =/ Can’t wake up, or dozed off during class time.
These few days, there’s perfect weather!! So nice weather. Haha, but a bit cooler at night. Aww… I always managed to kicked my blankets off in the middle of the night. Lols, then wake up in the morning feeling cold. Lols. Well, the weather’s so nice. But I wonder why people get so frustruted… haha. At this weather, the crickets are all coming onto our house. And making the noise… lols. Maybe that’s why people gets so frustruted. Haha. But since today is such a nice weather, and it didn’t rain… our family went out to the city for shopping. And I finally understand the meaning of “it’s a small world after all”. Well, I was walking… as usual, just average walking (I’m sure it’s not hard to imagine, lol). Then some asian guy walked past me and say “Hello!” Then I was like “WTH?!” Then my Mom say “Hey, you look familar… Ohhh…” Lols. It’s this asian guy we met when we were staying in Merredin, the countrysite. He was studying for being a pilot then. Lols, and we visit there quite often cuz all the students in there are all asian guys. And they were quite nice to me, except a few… … I didn’t manage to buy anything… even though I was looking at some clothes, thinking of what to actually buy. Lols. Didn’t buy anything. Then we all feel hungry so we walked to the food court there, wlaking down the stairs. Lols, I missed a step and almost fell. Then suddenly remembered my clumsiness… shouldn’t have wore that shoe. Lols. Always make me fall, esp in Singapore. Other than that, didn’t buy anything esle. Bought hp credit. But quite weird… nvm. Haven’t talked to my pillow for a few days now… missing him. Hope his work is not too heavy. And hope it’s doing okay in school.
[( listening )][( crickets making that annoying noise )]
[( feeling )][( not sleepy... )]
[( missing )][( mah sweet pillow )]
[( wanna )][( erhs... dunno... boring )]
[( learnt )][( it's a small world after all.. )]
Hello to all readers. (Why does it seemed like I’m talking to myself?)
Haha. Nvm. Anyways… hmm, how’s my day? Erhs. Not too bad bah. Did a bit of exercising today. Haha. Yer, dancing. Having danced for like almost 1 week, since it’s school holidays. Woke up late in the morning, then made breakfast. Then Yuri called me. She told me to go got the video “Honey” for inspiration in our dance. So I was like “Ok then.”
Well, I walked out with my hp, $5 and keys. Walking happily down the streets to the video store. Halfway through, I found out that I forgot to take the card! Uh oh… then turn back and get it. Lols. Reached home, damn! Can’t find card. Must be my Mom took it. Cuz it’s my Mom’s card. Oh well, my sister say just give card details. So I’m went out again. Reached video shop, grabbed “Honey” then go to the counter. Then they asked for name. So I gave the name. Then they asked for password. Then I was like “P… ass…word… ?” Seriously, my mouth dropped to the ground. Lols… “Hmmmmmm….” A big I-dunno-the-password was hanging on my face. Then the lady behind the counter was giving me this suspicious look. So I told her, I’ll call and ask my Mom. Arhh!! No credit left in my hp. -_-” Then she gave me this look again. Then I just said, “Ok… I’ll come back later then.” Smiles, and walked off.
Reached home. Just nice Yuri called me. I told my story and how I couldn’t get the video. So she said she’ll get it then. After a while, she came to my house with “Honey”. Then I played it. Guess what?! It isn’t playing… … I was quite fed up by then.
But it’s okay. I calm myself down… saying that everything’s okay. Then we started dancing. Then reliease that we didn’t warm up. -_-” How stupid is that? So we started warming up. Then we couldn’t think of any dance steps. So we started looking at some music video’s I have. Then after a long while, when our warm up is not effective anymore, we started dancing again. Then dance till around 6pm. Her parents came and pick her up. Then our family had dinner. Then I went for a shower. Finally! Get to rest…
What a long day… without any obstacles huh. =/ Oh fine. Okay, stop here. Just changed my blog’s skin, and updated stuff.
+ Listening + Luo Zhi Xiang - Mei You Ni +
+ Feeling + Hungry… LOL +
+ Missing + mahh sweet pill0w. +
+ Wanna + See mahh sweet pill0w. +
+ Learnt + how to tolarate without being angered +
Hello out there, whoever reading this.
Dunno how I’m feeling today. Just sorta tired from yesterday since I slept so late. The reason why I slept late was because I was thinking about stuff again. My sister was getting really fed up with me. But who can I talk to…? Talked to him last night. How should I say? Suddenly, felt so inconfident of myself. At first, was a bit scared. And a bit paranoid, I think. But after a while, I thought… maybe it’s my problem. Why did I ever let you feel this way… … thinking why you feel this way. I hope I was by your side whenever you needed me. Sorry I couldn’t be there… Really hoped that I was there. I hope that you won’t think too much. You know, when we both made this decision, we have already been looking ahead. We already known what’s life ahead of us. So the only thing we can do is to accept this, and perhaps, I guess, be brave. To love, to hate. That’s what inside us when we made the choice. To either to love or not to love. So we both chose the same thing. I hope life ahead of us would be smooth, and I hope I would be able to see you soon again… Hopefully, things will go in the right place. As long as we have each other as our hearts, I know that we’ll make it. Right? We will. As we both have said to ourselves all the time… we must have faith. Look how far we’ve been. Been through separation of 1 day, then 1 week, then 1 month, then going to be 1 year. I don’t care how is our ending, but every waiting of this, even if it makes me crazy over you all the time, I won’t regret what I have chosen. Whenever you miss me… whenever you think about the memories… just think and don’t ever feel sad. Because our memories are sweet. And the only memories we shared, no one can ever take them away. It’s our memories. Always keep that in mind okay?
What should I say… Always been trying to tell you lots of things. But I guess I hasn’t got the chance. But this is all from my heart. Things that I guess I hasn’t really told you. Remember our song? “You are all I ever need”? *You are the one I’m dreaming of, I want to spend my lifetime loving you*
- I love you -
~ Listening ~ Angela zhang - Aurora ~
~ Feeling ~ Hmm ~
~ Missing ~ You, always on my mind ~
~ Wanna ~ spend my lifetime loving you ~
~ Learnt ~ New things. New experiences ~