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ok, im writing again. hmm, why? dunno. u asking me?! haha. well, im a weird person right? ok, this time i will write in more details.. becuz i was quite confused juz now when i wrote.
well, have to say that through this 3 weeks. it was unpredictable. many things had happened. good and bad. happy and sad. i dunno what i can say. but the 2 weeks that i have not wrote in here… was the times of me missing him. i miss him all the time. and sometimes i get so lost. and i really dunno wad to do. i have been daydreaming so much too. juz one of my little fantasy world where i can go to to comfort myself. well.. all the difficulties… firstly my maths. then my physics. and then my english essay. that is juz part of skool.
skool. it really sux. i have to see that person for half the day. and it really gets on my nerves. and i hate it when she interupts me when im missing him. i hate ppl who do that. its so annoying. i dun normally hate someone so much. the only reason i would hate someone is they have done something to annoy me so bad. so far. i havent hated someone so bad. but yer, i really cant control my anger. dunno y. juz feel like avoiding her as much as i can. i hate it when she walks besides me… and she walks beside me so closely. ok, there is nothing wrong with that? yer, maybe. but i juz dun like it. it doesnt happens for my other friends. i think i am really stressing out. becuz everyone is studying… and it is really making my brain burst. cuz i kept thinking about studying… and studying.. and studying. it is like the only aim of my life now. studying. dunno wads life ahead. sometimes i juz drift off in class…. esp in intro calc. well, i juz dun like the teacher. he stares. and it juz looks so annoying bah. lols. ok, why does it sound like the whole world is against me now?
personally.. juz a few problems myself. i dun have the conflicts with my cousin now. the little brat. ever since my dad came bk today. i havent heard anything from him yet. i know thta i am going to get it every now and then. my mom was okay. she didnt say much. and my computer was down for 2 weeks. which was pretty upseting. i couldnt tok to him for 2 weeks. i really would have gone crazy. but i told myself to relax… when i called him the other day, felt like having a nice and causual chat. but since his parents are around.. i guess its hard for him to tell me wad he wants to tell me. when i got his letter… felt happy. on the other hand.. i have a sentence that is going through my head every now and then. i dunno why but i am so scared that it will be repeated to me again. juz felt so horrible inside. i think of it mostly when im going off to slp… cuz i think the most during that period of time. and i was scared. everytime when that sentence comes to my mind… i juz couldnt control myself.. would always start crying. but i have no strength to wipe my tears away. i would juz let it go. even when the tears are dry.. wad would happen? im juz having more and more things coming to my head. at this moment.. i guess the same things.
Lost words
there’s a thousand words
that i wanted to say
the words that repeats
in my mind every single day
the memories we had
running through my mind
so much of them
again it’s been left behind
every now and then
i find myself missing you
i regret letting go
and now there’s nothing to hold
every day that passed by
seemed to be empty
as lost my way
no more words to say
(chrous)
i stared blankly there
but i couldnt see you
i’ve lost my balance
there’s nothing i can do
you are not here with me
how can i be strong
as everything i do
they felt so wrong
every now and then
i find myself missing you
i regret letting go
and now there’s nothing to hold
every day that passed by
seemed to be empty
as lost my way
no more words to say
another song… why everytime it’s a sad song… dunno wad esle to write. there is no wishes to make now… as i have always said, never be too greedy. never take things for granted. and i’ve learnt something new. The only limits to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.
you know how much i miss you…