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dont fly away~ you’re my reality.. always be my gravity. you’re my butterfly.
hehe… i am in singing mood today… this song is from delta goodrem - butterfly.
what a day today. not the best day, i can say. but time sure goes faster and faster each day, which i can say is a good thing. is it?
i had dance class first today. and we carried on with a few more dance steps. it was really confusing me. but i think i am getting better at it. then i had english. took some notes on the novel… finished reading it. it was a sad story… almost managed to make me cry. but i didnt. felt upset. that happens to me everytime when i read or watch something sad. i cry. and leach was asking me why i looked so upset. lols. it was the novel… then i had recess… did nothing too. juz eating. and waiting for the bell. then went to drama class. drama was alright today. we had to come up with an improvisation. and i was working in a group with jasmine and michael. well, i was gotta be a real mean person as a character.. lols. and jasmine was gonna be the nice one. and michael said, it is like swapping personalities. lols. and he was being funny. and being a little.. hm.. girlish. lols. which made me felt unconcentrate cuz the actions he made juz freak me out. lols. after that we had intro calc. ok, when i looked at the teacher, i was already in no mood. and he gave us back our trial test. i’ve got… 33%. crap. lols. i knew i was going to fail. well, he then gave like half the class a piece of paper.. ppl who failed. he gave us a paper stating our results for what test. and he signed it and expects us to bring it home and let our parents sign it and bring it back to him tomorrow. yups! mean huh… i didnt care. i didnt touch my work. cuz it was unfair that he didnt teach us well and he expects us all to get a good mark. nonody in the class actually think that he taught well. and even abigail. she asked him for more marks because she had explain something properly. but he refused to admit that he was wrong and refused to give her the mark. so she was really upset. and wad does he do? nothing. he dont care. at the end of the class, he asked emma to stay behind. ok, i dunno wad was wrong with me, but i was pissed off with him. so i said to emma loud in front of him, “good luck emma” and he heard me. but he didnt say anything. well, emma got an advice from him to study and talk less in class and emma swore at him saying that she doesnt give a sh*t about this work, and she expects to fail and need no help from him. yups, thats wad she said. and he was speechless. so.. we hate that teacher form today onward. and it doesnt make our lives any easiler because he sux at teaching. ok.. then i got lunch, i was in no mood. then after lunch, went to chemistry. then physics. then end of day already.
wow… it was fast… well, i got my mom to signed the paper. and she asked me things. but she didnt scold me, cuz i have already told her how crap the teacher was. and i did tell her about me expecting to fail this trial test. there was something in the paper that wrote parent’s comment. lols. and she joked saying that she should write “how did you teach my daughter?” in there. lols. i laughed. but it didnt helped me. i wished i had a different teacher, so maybe i wouldnt feel so miserable. *sigh* life is getting much much more difficult for me. and now, i really have no confident in maths. i had never used to hate maths, and now i think i do.
well, i had been thinking about him so much. these days, even. every min… sometimes i would feel like everything is silent around me, and i started having a music in my head… the song. then i would start thinking about the memories we had together. i would be missing him so much. and i would juz be totally engrossed and not knowing anything around me. yups, that was me daydreaming. the kind of thing i would be thinking about. all the time when i am either sitting down, or standing up. or juz somewhere where i stand silently. i really wonder… what he is doing every min… and missing him. so difficult for me.. and difficult for other ppl to understand this kind of feeling i am having. and maybe sometimes, ppl will ask me to cheer up. but i know maybe i juz couldnt. every sec of my life… juz nowhere i can go. nowhere i can stay. i am so lost without him.
-listening- delta goodrem - not me, not i.
-feeling- slightly blur. slightly dreamy. juz slighty.
-missing- him.
-wanna- sing on forever.
-learnt- all you said to me, all you promised me. all the miseries, never did believe. no i never cry, no i never not me… not i… -singing along juz singing along. singing alone.-