Reeny.net

heylloo~

aiyo. today went to skool. so tiring haha. i yawned all day long. and i sneezed a couple of times too.. maybe im getting sick. have to take care of myself haha. better not eat too much junk food. arrhh.. i woke up this morning in confusion. ahhaas. cause i didnt know wad time i slp laz night, considering i was daydreaming at night until i was aslp so i was dreaming anyway. haha. i was like… dreaming?! yer, but i woke up in confusion. all i wanted to do was to go back to slp.. hehes. but i couldnt obviously. i juz woke up immediately. well, i know wad i had to do so i have to get up and work on my goals.

went for singing lessons this morning. wahh….. hehehes. i couldnt sing in the morning. we were singing my immortal by evanescence, beautiful by christina aguerila and out of reach by gabriel. yups. then went off for normal skool lessons. having english in that small classroom. well, there’s only one thing i liked about the classroom. it’s blue! hahaha.. weird me. by anyways. then i went to dance theory class.. teacher say we are having our kalamunda during june, so we got to start practising real hard now. haha..

nothign much happened at recess except noratiah did a dog sound which made me and sandra laughed! hahas… and yer, i noticed leach’s pants. omg… they were so big for her! and it doesnt suit her seriously… she bought it from supre. ?! wth. ok. then had whole school assembly. ok.. i was thinking of calling it told off session. cuz the whole school juz sat there basically being taught about school rules?! yups. how ridiculous. but it was so hot in there.. and i had to squeeze in a space. wasnt allowed to moved. /= but anyways. went to chem later. facing that leach. so annoyed. and i tried to make myself not dislike her today. but i juz couldnt…. ok, but later i had physics. blah blah skip skip.

lunch. nothing much. then had intro calc. 70% for my test. really angry. then me and abi was challenging the textbook’s answers. ahhaa. well, we shouldnt be looking at them in the first place anyway. ahhaha. then.. everyone seemed to worked harder this period cuz our average for the test is 64%! and i cant believe abi got 100%. smart. haha. envys* then last lesson had drama. nothing much happened.

thats was all.. tomorrow having period 0 for chem lab exp. and gets period 6 for wed off!! yays. hehe.. wed is our 5th month. time passes by so quickly. really misses you so much. whoops. ok, im not referring to whomever’s reading this now. but him. yup, u know who im taking about.

listening - s.h.e - ni kuan le wo yuan yi
feeling - hyper in typing
missing - wahahhas. same person..
wanna - aiya. slp la
learnt - lallalas.

)= school starts tomorrow again. feeling so bored. and i forgot when my drama report is due… hope that it is due next week rather than tomorrow. cuz i have a doubt dunno when it’s due. have to reality again tomorrow. really tired of studying. after resting for 2 days, it’s time i have to get up and keep on working hard again. for the sake of everything.

well, last night i couldnt slp… again. i was all bored. like something keeping inside me that made me felt uncomfortable. not because im angry at someone, i guess juz a bit tired of life at the moment. but i was quite angry with the stupid fly in my room. i was standing at the door for 10 minutes, until the fly flew outside. then i quickly close the door. but i couldnt slp anyway. i turn off the lights.. juz lay there. i dunno what i was thinking. him again i guess. juz missing him again. i kept reminding myself of the times we had together. mostly is when we were alone, juz wlaking around, having fun, having our own little conversations. yups. really miss those times. what esle can i do… ok, lets not talk about this anymore.

emm.. so wad did i do today? i woke up in the morning.. juz my usual laziness that kept me in bed. i think i slp till 10am. i juz have the feeling of laziness.. like the uncomfortable feeling… that kept me in bed. juz didnt feel like doing anything. didnt feel like going anywhere. but i had to get up. its a brand new day anyway. so i pulled myself up from bed. and do my brushing and stuff.. and be a good girl… eating breakfast, doing homework. well, i havent been doing homework at friday and ysd. so i have to finish them today. i was too moody. i guess juz one of my mood swings again. so i didnt do much, juz finish all the ones i am suppose to. then i went on the net to finish up the song. then went offline and watch tv. boring day. nothing to watch. but watched happy sunday. but no use.. doesnt make me happy at all. lol. then go shower… oh. that guy came again. my dad say he now always come our house is being he is feeling lonely. oh well. i guess so. i guess i was thinking too much. he asked me lots of questions today.. and ask me to go jogging as well. lol. i think i was quite naughty. playing around with him. made me think that im not a nice girl. i juz told him i was lazy. hahhaha. then i watched tv more than tok to him. but now felt so guilty. cuz he is suppose to be the [lonely] guy my dad says. i shouldnt be doing that. they all went jogging. and i showered and listen to music. but there was something wrong with me today. my singing juz sux. i couldnt sing properly. oh well, watch tv again, until now. come online.

hmm, dunno wad to say. juz another boring day. tomorrow. i dunno. gonna go to the singing thing. hope it would be good. and can take up space in my life. so i wont have to force myself to think about something esle that is unnecessary. as u all know… i am a daydreamer. my imagination is unreachable. and i think alot. but i think too much. hahas.

ok stop here.
; l i s t e n i n g ‘ f.i.r - ni de wei siao
; f e e l i n g ‘ kinda down. uncomfortable. maybe gonna be sick soon bah.
; m i s s i n g ‘ of cuz is the one that is always in my heart.
; w a n n a ‘ juz feel like going stargazing. having peace and quiet place to miss him.
; l e a r n t ‘ dunno. juz plain and boring day.

ok, im writing again. hmm, why? dunno. u asking me?! haha. well, im a weird person right? ok, this time i will write in more details.. becuz i was quite confused juz now when i wrote.

well, have to say that through this 3 weeks. it was unpredictable. many things had happened. good and bad. happy and sad. i dunno what i can say. but the 2 weeks that i have not wrote in here… was the times of me missing him. i miss him all the time. and sometimes i get so lost. and i really dunno wad to do. i have been daydreaming so much too. juz one of my little fantasy world where i can go to to comfort myself. well.. all the difficulties… firstly my maths. then my physics. and then my english essay. that is juz part of skool.

skool. it really sux. i have to see that person for half the day. and it really gets on my nerves. and i hate it when she interupts me when im missing him. i hate ppl who do that. its so annoying. i dun normally hate someone so much. the only reason i would hate someone is they have done something to annoy me so bad. so far. i havent hated someone so bad. but yer, i really cant control my anger. dunno y. juz feel like avoiding her as much as i can. i hate it when she walks besides me… and she walks beside me so closely. ok, there is nothing wrong with that? yer, maybe. but i juz dun like it. it doesnt happens for my other friends. i think i am really stressing out. becuz everyone is studying… and it is really making my brain burst. cuz i kept thinking about studying… and studying.. and studying. it is like the only aim of my life now. studying. dunno wads life ahead. sometimes i juz drift off in class…. esp in intro calc. well, i juz dun like the teacher. he stares. and it juz looks so annoying bah. lols. ok, why does it sound like the whole world is against me now?

personally.. juz a few problems myself. i dun have the conflicts with my cousin now. the little brat. ever since my dad came bk today. i havent heard anything from him yet. i know thta i am going to get it every now and then. my mom was okay. she didnt say much. and my computer was down for 2 weeks. which was pretty upseting. i couldnt tok to him for 2 weeks. i really would have gone crazy. but i told myself to relax… when i called him the other day, felt like having a nice and causual chat. but since his parents are around.. i guess its hard for him to tell me wad he wants to tell me. when i got his letter… felt happy. on the other hand.. i have a sentence that is going through my head every now and then. i dunno why but i am so scared that it will be repeated to me again. juz felt so horrible inside. i think of it mostly when im going off to slp… cuz i think the most during that period of time. and i was scared. everytime when that sentence comes to my mind… i juz couldnt control myself.. would always start crying. but i have no strength to wipe my tears away. i would juz let it go. even when the tears are dry.. wad would happen? im juz having more and more things coming to my head. at this moment.. i guess the same things.

Lost words

there’s a thousand words
that i wanted to say
the words that repeats
in my mind every single day
the memories we had
running through my mind
so much of them
again it’s been left behind

every now and then
i find myself missing you
i regret letting go
and now there’s nothing to hold
every day that passed by
seemed to be empty
as lost my way
no more words to say

(chrous)
i stared blankly there
but i couldnt see you
i’ve lost my balance
there’s nothing i can do
you are not here with me
how can i be strong
as everything i do
they felt so wrong

every now and then
i find myself missing you
i regret letting go
and now there’s nothing to hold
every day that passed by
seemed to be empty
as lost my way
no more words to say

another song… why everytime it’s a sad song… dunno wad esle to write. there is no wishes to make now… as i have always said, never be too greedy. never take things for granted. and i’ve learnt something new. The only limits to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.

you know how much i miss you…

hello. im back to blog again. after this 2 weeks of the virus dominating my computer.

this 2 weeks. wad can i say? many things had happened. well, i’ll juz talked about wad happen this week bahs. i had test this week. drama test on monday, physics test on tue, english essay on wed, thurs free, intro calc test on fri. and.. my legs are aching from dance. i have been so tired. really tired. when i have no support at all, no one there to tell me to be brave. i thought i was really going to give up. and i know that there is lots of things i didnt understand. for my english essay.. i got c. hmm.. juz passed. well, i felt a bit disappointed. but no one in the class got higher than c, so at least that makes me feel better. and teacher said i had a good introduction.

i saw sarah on thursday. yer. she was still the same. i dunno why, but i feel like i dun like school anymore. i have been doing so many things to make me forget. well, i am taking up something again. singing. yups. i heard from the notices that they wanted to build up a club for girls who likes to sing. i was hesitating to join or not, but it starts this monday. and my drama… we learnt juggling tricks yesterday. and my dance… i have already learnt a full song now. the song called sweet charity. now.. need more practices and costumes. arhh.. so many things…

and got guest in my house today… my dad n cousin juz came bk from singapore today. hmm.. yer.. i think i was too friendly to that guest in our house the last time… the day before valentines… he ask me to go watch sunset.. but i say im not free… well, im only going to watch sunset with fredric… thats the only person i will go watch sunset with.. no one esle. i hope im thinking too much abt that person… he came to our house again….

ok… i think i’ll stop here… tok to fredric now. hehe! bye~~

2 weeks… wow. long time huh. well, imagine 2 years. @_@ wow.

hmm.. so today… argh. another long and tired day. nothing much to type about actually. cuz it’s the same old boring day. but.. this coming tuesday im going to have period 0 for chemistry. and im free last period for wed.. means i can go home early! haha…

well, now talking to noratiah about school and stuff. and elwin. hmm.. so bored today. oso juz now, got his email. so happy. even though it was a short one… hehe.

every night.. lay and look at bubbles. then i will be missing him. hehe. then sometimes.. i will look at the bear he gave me when i went to singapore… i would juz… miss him lots and lots. next time, when i go to the city… im going to buy a $10 phone card or something.. so i can call him some time. and we can chat.

oh yer. my dad had already accepted the offer. to start a new business. they are still working on it. i think they are going to open a resturant or something. i dunno. but yer. somethign like that. and he might come back to australia from singapore 2 weeks late. hmm.. i can tell my mom miss him lots. haha. cuz she always tries to call and chat with him. but.. i guess it is something that is juz temporary. i mean… maybe 1 more month. but for me… maybe years. why no one can understand our feelings…. really wonder why no one understand. i guess… there is nothing i can truly do. what makes me felt angry is… that some ppl juz dunno how to cherish. like they juz be that special someone for another person for fun. yer, for fun! thats juz so wrong. feel so angry for those play play ppl.

well, last yr was okay. but this yr is turning into a diaster. so many girls from our school moved school. all the positive and shining ppls. and it’s left like. us.. a few of us. and some new ppl. the whole place juz darkens.. u know. dunno how to explain. but life still goes on. and if it is always so smooth and nice.. i guess we wouldnt call it life anymore.

*[ listening ][ s.h.e - yes i love you ]*
*[ feeling ][ tired. ]*
*[ missing ][ fredric ]*
*[ wanna ][ be in ur arms.. ]*
*[ learnt ][ lots. ]*