Reeny.net

i seriously hate this computer… it sux. i cant blog in it. i have to refresh so many times until it allow me to type in it. but anyways… today… emms.. it is sorta a bad day for me.

i woke up in the morning. at about 9+ then i was thinking. emm… how come fredric nv sms me. then nvm. i sms him. then i went shower and stuff. waiting for my dad to come home. then we went to make my ic at the ICA building. on the way there, i relieased something. i forgot to wear my ring… cuz ysd i kept it in the box already. then i forgot to take out. felt like so unsafe without it. fredric sms me back. we decided to meet up later to see the living of australia in orchard hotel there. lol. then reach the ICA building. crowded. waited for a long time. around 12++ then got my IC done. lol. the pic. so ugly. lol. nvm. then my dad and them say they wan to go to novena and do something. but i dun wan to follow. so i say i wan to go back to amk. then on the mrt. my dad nag nag at me. ask me where i am going later. i told him. i am going out with fredric and see the expo thing. then he nag nag nag say cannot do this cannot do that. muz be home before 7pm and stuff. then i say ok. ok. blah blah. lol. then they go off at novena. i reach amk. going home. thinking.. i can take the ring and wear it haha. then guess what? no one is at home… =/ unlucky. then nvm. i call winnie. she say he finishing school. then i meet up with her and go to her house. i waited for so long. i think i was going to rot. and guess what happen? she forgot to bring her keys. lol. then she reach in very hard until she reach for the key using a hook to get it. lol. good thing my hands are small. if not i dun think she can go home already. but regina was there also. lol. and i think she laughed all the way. lol. then finally. we went in. wah. so tired. very hot and sweaty already. stay there. and she showed me her hamsters. very cute. but got one bite me. lol.

3pm. yays. time to go and meet fredric. winnie took her time to bring me to the bus stop. lol. she ask me to take 74 or 88. then i dunno why i go and take 13. lol. but good thing, reach the place near the bridge. then my dad call and ask me to come home and bring him the watches cuz he want to go and change battery. then ok lo. no choice. have to go home first. so went home. and took the ring oso. then quickly walk to the mrt station. wah… so late already. die die.. then he call me and say he finish school already. so i hurry up and he say he will wait for me. lol. then when i reach there… wow happy. but all sweaty and smelly. lol. i smelt really bad. lol. cant help it. then we went to orchard.

i find him very quiet along the way. but i didnt wan to say much. juz let him think about something. lol. nvm. then we went to orchard. the expo is melbourne one! -_-` lol. nvm. nv go and see lor. then we walk and i went to buy drink, he went to buy bread. lol. drinking and eating on the way. then when we were going down the escalator, he almost tripped over! lol. phew~ good thing he didnt. if not i think i oso will be the same. lol. we went into this shopping centre thing. went and see phone and clothes. then suddenly he say wan to buy long sleeve and wear go out sometime together. then i say ok. lol. em.. then we went home.

on the mrt, i gave him the black wristband. on the wristband, there is a smiley face. lol. cuz i wan him to be happy always. and always smiling. thats all i ask for. yer. he say he like it. =) well, i will stop here. hehe.

i luv you!

y suddenly… i feel this way… i dun understand. this feeling of disappointment. ever since i came back, he say to me he is not free. i dunno if i should feel angry or wad. but when i think about him, i find that i cant get angry like that. i dunno wad to say… it is uncomfortable cannot see him for 1 week already. now still have to spend my day like that… really sad. i guess there’s nothing much i can do. for me, it is juz another day to go through without something important by my side.

but this is my plan today…
going to meet winnie at amk kfc at 2pm. then we maybe eat in amk or go clementi and eat.. but i dunno… then go and walk a while. then we will go and pick up song zhi at 5pm. then at 7pm going home. thats all for today. tml i dunno. the day after tml i dunno. now felt like… hmm i dunno. pissed off is not the word. but then i cannot say sad. i dunno. juz didnt feel good at all.

thats all for today…
i feel tired already.

i miss you when i cant see u…

harlow to all… ehehe. i am back to singapore!!!

so sad…. i thought im not sick anymore… cuz this morning i recover… but who knows. it seems to be back. i guess =/

did u know how i felt?
d i s p p o i n t e d
cuz i cannot see him today and tomorrow. sobs. but he is not free. i cant blame him. but anyways, i dunno if i will be able to meet him on monday or not. he say mon or tue go watch movie. and i seriously dunno when he is free. for now, i still miss him!!! aww.. =( sad. tomorrow damn free… no go out. at night cant go out.hope mon can see him.

emm.. my feeling juz now. u know, i think a few times… i relieased that he nv told me he love me b4. hmm, as in face to face? lol. dunno. not becuz i think he dun love me. but maybe itz juz to give a safe feeling. and it is ot becuz i dun feel safe… or i dun trust him. but i can say, i am afraid to lose him. i can nv imagine that happening… no… dun even wan to think.

he sorta freak out about the idea of meeting my dad. hmm, ok. not freaked out. but nervous. ya. it is normal right? i guess. but im glad he agreed. i knew i didnt see the wrong person. emm… actually i am freaking out too. even though it is my own dad, but im sorta nervous too. for myself. haha. remembering wad happened last time to me when i brought elwin to see my dad. ahha… after all, thinking about that time, i felt quite stupid. emm… mabe becuz of wad happened later.

i hope this time, my dad wont hve any big reactions. he nv does, i guess. i amuessing that he would keep quiet throughout everything. and then. har.. thats the scary part. he would nag at me every little chances that he’ve got. ok, thats wad happened the last time. the situation now is different. becuz i felt more definite and sure of fredric. not juz becuz he is nice to me. as i have said… i used different things to analyse somethings. esp to see a person’s mind. so…. hahaha… beware of me. ok, i dun totally see through minds k.. but yer actions. and another thing is i trust my gut instinct. the feeling that fredric gave me… it is juz so different from any other guys. and i trust myself. i have to. i have faith in me. ohhh… nice phrase. hehe… sound like song title. lol. here comes my inspiration. i have been listening to love songs in the car… on the way back to singapore. ehehe. but now is not the time to write a song. so… i better turn in and slp……

good night my pillow!!!! muacks i miss u!

arhh…. sick. im sick. lol. thats bad. isnt it? emm… so wad i do after i went off the net that day? after the last post? well, nothing much actually… waiting for the other ppls to come home. i wanted to call my mommy, but it didn’t get through… i dunno why. so i called fredric instead. speaking of him, i juz went to see his blog… and found that he blog. i wonder if his computer is fixed already or not. maybe he used the computer at… his friend’s house?

im going back to singapore tomorrow. with my god bro, his gf and my uncle. we will stop by and pick up my daddy at the airport. then go to ang mo kio i think…

ehehhe, i think i have gained around 3 kgs. for eating so much yesterday. and the day before. and and… ok ever since ive arrived in malaysia. i think i have been eating quite a lot. the second day. okie… im making this complicated for everyone to read huh… lol.

on the first day i reach malaysia, i stayed home. and did nothing. except… emm. ******. yer. i dunno if anyone will know what is it. but i did that. and it was really really sad. but now its over. on the second day, i went out shopping with my god bro’s gf. we went shopping and then we went to eat sushi for lunch. and at night, we went out and eat. the third day, i stayed home alone. and i was so pathetic cuz i didnt know how to tun on the tv! lol…… so i went on th enet all day. i think… and ***** again. it was pretty bad. yer. but no one was at home. so who cares.. no one can see me that way. then, the next day… i went out shopping with my god bro. seriously, i didnt like it. he was so annoying. that night, we went to stay in swiss garden hotel. but only me and his gf stayed the night. the next day.. we went shopping again. that was actually yesterday… yups. and i spent all my money…. lol. cuz i was buying some stuff. we also went to eat delifrance as breakfast and buffet at night. wahahha. then last night. my god bro and uncle joined us to stay the night. i can tell you all, i couldnt slp that night. cuz someone was snoring. and the room was cold. i was really really really really angry. and this morning we came bk home. to my god bro’s house. tml, im going back to singapore.

i cant type fast and properly cuz dennis is toking to me on the msn. and he is asking me alot of questions.. lol. if i can go and see fredric tomorrow… i would. im thinking if i have time or not…. i oso dunno but hopefully i do. okok….

i would have to stop here becuz my god bro wanna use the com to check something. and my feeling today isnt so good. cuz im feeling a bit tired and sick and pissed off. i oso dunno wad to do. ok, i will have to go now… i’ll post again… hopefully. haha.

nag nag nag everyday nag nag nag. yep! this is my god bro. ahahaha. erhs. today whole day sayed with him. so how? cannot. nothing i can do. kept nag nag at me.

today… went out to shop. but i dunno what shopping centre it’s called. ahaha. how pathetic. hmm, so went around and shop for like almost nothing at all. these days… there’s only a few stuff to buy. but i wasn’t feeling good today cuz i didnt see my fredric. lol. but i smsed him.

bad luck kept coming when fredric’s not around. awww… miss him so much. i might be able to see him on sat. but maybe only. not comfirmed. cuz my daddy is coming to singapore this sat. i have absolutely no idea if he wanted me to go and pick him up or not. but hmm.. to say the truth. he can see him all he like when we are back in australia. every single day… until he is bored. ahahah. i have to call in later and see if they allow me to be away or not. haha. my god bro is going too. and stay only till sunday. maybe with his gf.

i really miss fredric…. its the 4th day already… sobs. i havent seen him around. without him here by my side, it felt so empty and cold. arr.. juz dunno how to describe this feeling. that day when i read steph’s blog. i found that that he wa weird after sat night i left him. he was making weird noises.. according to steph. that time i felt so… dunno. heart broken. makes me sad when i hear that he is sad u know. my feeling… wad my feeling now?! well.. it’s like the weather. and what’s the weather like now? the weather is going to rain soon. my feeling is like that. felt really dark.

tonight, im going to a hotel and stay there until friday. after friday, then i will come back to his house im currently staying in.. then on sat, i will be back. but i dunno what time i will be back. i guess hopefully in time. then i will have to see if i have to go meet my dad or not. if not, then yays. i na go meet fredric already since i havent seen him for one week… it’s so painful to be not be able to see him for 1 week!!! esp when i dont felt him near me… juz felt sad juz thinking about it.

so u wan to know whats my wish now? i wish, i hope that our love will be given. and it will be granted. so that, no one can let us stay apart for each other. i remember he told me once, there muz be a reason why God put us together even though we are so far apart. from that day, i have relieased, it is a fate. a destiny that bind us close together. and it is all destiny where after we met, we happen to be able to see each other. i know. itz all destiny. cuz i believe in it. everyhting happens for a reason. although sometimes, i dunno what the reason is… but something always makes me believe that it happens. for me, i have no need to explain why i love fredric. but it is juz my gut instinct inside me. maybe i cant understand this feeling. but i guess the reason why i am so attracted to him is becuz of simply juz him.

for the destiny part, i have to explain a bit.. well, lets say… why didnt i fall in love with another person but him? thats wad i call destiny… it is all decided who and when and where we will meet and fall in love. and you know sometimes, when you suddenly have a crush on someone and that person doesnt seem to like u? when thats destiny. that is why true love is so rare. it is really difficult to find someone that you love, that loves you as well. so what is the moral of this story? ahahaha. to cherish the one beside you now. no matter how poor or rich you are… the one you love is always the one you love. hehee.

and i love fredric!! ahaha. miss my fredric, my pillow.