i always use to think only in drama serials this sort of things will happen. and after all, the actors themselves makes the storyline sad. thats it. right? ok, no way. i was wrong. i only believe this things happen until the day it happens to me. and i hate this feeling.
yesterday… i left the cck house at 2pm. well, i wasnt exactly going to meet fredric yet. cuz i was waiting for him to finish class and he could call me. so… i went shopping alone in lot 1. and it was so bored. well, i gave up walking around alone after walking around for 1 hour. and it was only 3pm. @_@ no way. i was praying and hoping that he would end class at 3pm. but nope. no calls. haha. then i felt hungry. so i went to bread talk and bought some thing to eat. i sat down at the cck mrt station there and eat. lol. so funny. cuz i was the only one… sitting there eating… lol. and then, suddenly this old man came and sit beside me. ok, he didnt say anything. but he kept looking at me. then i was thinking in my mind “uh oh. another pervert.” but i didnt move away. he looked like he was around 50++ and seemed harmless. so i continue eating. i finished in less than 15 mins time. but i was lazy to get up. and i have realieased that i have nowhere to go, nothing to do. haha. so i sat there. for a long long time. aimlessly, waiting for nothing. hmm, waiting for fredric’s call actually. but it was so empty becuz i dunno wad time he would call. haha. so dumb right? i sat there thinking. looking. looking at ppl. and thinking about things. that feeling of waiting… hmm… it’s funny. felt like it’s going to be forever.
well, after a while that old man suddenly talked to me. i was terrified for a while. cuz i was like… why he suddenly to me… haha. maybe becuz i look too “guai” and like i would listen to wad he says. then after a while, i found that he is from china. and he seemed quite… poor thing. like very lonely. so i decided to sit there and talk to him until fredric calls. then suddenly… very weird. he seemed to build a trust in me through the conversations. he ask me to help him top up his ez link card. i mean… would you ask a stranger… esp a teenager who “seemed” to look nice to top up your ez link card? ok, so he gave me $10 and ask me to help. and i accidentally saw that he only got $20 in this wallet. so poor thing… but i juz help. since im so nice. wahahas. jks. but i really did. and i have no intentions to harm him to take him money… then suddenly… he give me his cash on line card and ask me to help him check got how much money inside. very weird… then i helped. he only got $20 inside. so poor thing… i didnt say anything. then i juz say i have to go already. [not true] then i went off. cuz i dun wan later got police come and catch me say i anyhow took old man’s visa card. lol. thn i went to popular and find the series of unfortunate events by lemony snicket. but i couldnt find the series in there. but i went to buy a notebook instead.
i went bk to the mrt station and wait… suddenly i saw esther [my cousin] so i went to say hi to her. haha. the other day, went to ktv with her and corene. and then she ask me to take care and blah blah, bid me farewell then went off. then fredric called. he ask me to stay put and he is coming to find me. (= yays. haha. lame me. but i was happy. waited for around 9 mins. then he arrived. ehehes. then suddenly he give me a present say is from his friend to me. me? me? why me? lol. i find it weird too. so after that we went to lot 1 and walk again. and we went to a place that most ppl would go when they go shopping. library. lol. well, we went in there for nothing. juz looking at books. and we went through a book called ’stars and planets’. then we met esther and her friend at the library. once again, she say good luck to me haha. then we went off. then fredric called ben n joey and ask them if they r ready to go. we met the time and continue to walk. and again, we walked in a strange place. in ntuc. haha! supermarket. lol. we went through many sections and finish walking the whole supermarket. lol. funny. but fun. cuz with him. like normal walking and talking. felt so relax. felt like myself. i always felt like being myself when i am with him.
then we went to meet ben n joey. we were all suppose to go to west coast and watch sunset. but the sun has already set. lol. so we went to jurong east… went to IMM. went to eat burger king. and then.. suddenly fredric say wan to take pictures with me. haha. ok. then finish eating. we all went walking a while. my dad called and ask me to go home straight away. i was very angry. he say the tone like very bu shuang. so i say i am not going back yet. cuz i am meeting corene later also. i dun care lo. juz do that.
finally… time to go home. me and fredric was both silent. felt like inside a drama series. really silent. and i dunno how to break it. then we went on the mrt. at first is okay. until ben n joey left. then… i think alot. i was thinking… wouldnt it be good if the mrt keeps going on forever? juz like that. sitting side by side. then suddenly, i cannot control myself. my face become very red. and all the blood rush up my face. i tried very very hard to hold my tears in. but it didnt work. i didnt wan fredric to see me cry. but i dunno why, i cant be strong. i am not strong at all. then in the end, i lent on him and cried silently. a tear dripped on his uniform. i think he alreayd knew that i was crying. but i oso realieased that he is silent. i can hear a bit of sniffing. i can tell, he is holding his tears in too. but he didnt look like he was crying. i was. then he finally cant take it. he took out readers digest and read and read and read. he juz kept reading. i guess he was too sad to say anything. me too. we walked together, hand in hand, to ang mo kio mcdonalds to meet corene. and this journey was so… cold; when it was the very very last moments i can look at him, i smiled. cuz i wan to bring him the best in me. no tears. i want him to know that i felt the happiness he is giving me.
after he left… i’ve got nothing to say. i went home soon after, packing my things. gtting ready for next day’s flight to australia. wad can i say? i cried so many times. and finally get to slp. until this morning, i was waken by my aunty. on the taxi… i cried again. and on the plane. every now and then, i juz missed him out of the sudden. i really dunno how to describe this feeling. i felt sad. and i missing him so much that i cant explain.
even though that day, u had to let go of me. u’ll still live in my heart. our memories will filled my mind. there’s always a reason why god put us together even though we are so far apart. i remember what u said to me. luv u.