y suddenly… i feel this way… i dun understand. this feeling of disappointment. ever since i came back, he say to me he is not free. i dunno if i should feel angry or wad. but when i think about him, i find that i cant get angry like that. i dunno wad to say… it is uncomfortable cannot see him for 1 week already. now still have to spend my day like that… really sad. i guess there’s nothing much i can do. for me, it is juz another day to go through without something important by my side.
but this is my plan today…
going to meet winnie at amk kfc at 2pm. then we maybe eat in amk or go clementi and eat.. but i dunno… then go and walk a while. then we will go and pick up song zhi at 5pm. then at 7pm going home. thats all for today. tml i dunno. the day after tml i dunno. now felt like… hmm i dunno. pissed off is not the word. but then i cannot say sad. i dunno. juz didnt feel good at all.
thats all for today…
i feel tired already.
i miss you when i cant see u…
harlow to all… ehehe. i am back to singapore!!!
so sad…. i thought im not sick anymore… cuz this morning i recover… but who knows. it seems to be back. i guess =/
did u know how i felt?
d i s p p o i n t e d
cuz i cannot see him today and tomorrow. sobs. but he is not free. i cant blame him. but anyways, i dunno if i will be able to meet him on monday or not. he say mon or tue go watch movie. and i seriously dunno when he is free. for now, i still miss him!!! aww.. =( sad. tomorrow damn free… no go out. at night cant go out.hope mon can see him.
emm.. my feeling juz now. u know, i think a few times… i relieased that he nv told me he love me b4. hmm, as in face to face? lol. dunno. not becuz i think he dun love me. but maybe itz juz to give a safe feeling. and it is ot becuz i dun feel safe… or i dun trust him. but i can say, i am afraid to lose him. i can nv imagine that happening… no… dun even wan to think.
he sorta freak out about the idea of meeting my dad. hmm, ok. not freaked out. but nervous. ya. it is normal right? i guess. but im glad he agreed. i knew i didnt see the wrong person. emm… actually i am freaking out too. even though it is my own dad, but im sorta nervous too. for myself. haha. remembering wad happened last time to me when i brought elwin to see my dad. ahha… after all, thinking about that time, i felt quite stupid. emm… mabe becuz of wad happened later.
i hope this time, my dad wont hve any big reactions. he nv does, i guess. i amuessing that he would keep quiet throughout everything. and then. har.. thats the scary part. he would nag at me every little chances that he’ve got. ok, thats wad happened the last time. the situation now is different. becuz i felt more definite and sure of fredric. not juz becuz he is nice to me. as i have said… i used different things to analyse somethings. esp to see a person’s mind. so…. hahaha… beware of me. ok, i dun totally see through minds k.. but yer actions. and another thing is i trust my gut instinct. the feeling that fredric gave me… it is juz so different from any other guys. and i trust myself. i have to. i have faith in me. ohhh… nice phrase. hehe… sound like song title. lol. here comes my inspiration. i have been listening to love songs in the car… on the way back to singapore. ehehe. but now is not the time to write a song. so… i better turn in and slp……
good night my pillow!!!! muacks i miss u!